|2 prostitutes were on their way home after work, in a taxi.|
1st: I smell sperm!
2nd: Sorry, I burped!
|Our love will never become cold and hollow;|
Unless one day, you change and refuse to swallow!
|Why do men like big tits and a tight ass?|
Because they've got big mouths and little dicks!
|Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?|
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done!
|What's the difference between Maggi Noodles and a girlfriend?|
Maggi is licked after eating whereas a girlfriend is licked before eating!
|A lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!"|
He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"
|What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?|
Liquor in the front and Poker in the back!
|A bloke calls work, "Boss, cannae come in tae work. I'm sick".|
Boss asks, "How sick are you?"
Bloke: I'm F***ing my aunt. How sick is that?"
|Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?|
A: Because he got his dick stuck in the chicken?
|Q: Did you hear about the gay bank robber?|
A: He tied up the safe and blew the guard.