• Vagina to Penis, "Surrender, I have you surrounded!"
  • "Hello, baby," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you some."
    "Listen," said the woman, nonplussed, "If you can hold it in one hand, I'm not interested."
  • Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
    A: I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna eat me.
  • Q: What's the difference between a micro-wave oven and a woman?
    A: Micro-wave oven does not scream when you put a piece of meat in it.
  • The only time a man takes care of a woman's hair is while she is giving him a "Blow Job"!
  • A dick has a sad life:
    His hair is in mess;
    His family consists of nuts;
    His neighbor's an asshole;
    His best friend's a pussy;
    And his owner beats him.
  • Lesbians can also take Viagra.
    They don't have to swallow it, they can just let it melt on their tongues.
  • Q: Why sperm donation is more expensive than blood donation?
    A: Because it's HANDMADE.
  • Doctor 1: Shit, I had sex with my patient and I'm feeling guilty.
    Doctor 2: It happens in our profession, take it easy.
    Doctor 1: There's a difference. You see, unlike you, I am a veterinarian.
  • Doctor: Why your knees all blistered? Lady: Because of doggy style sex!
    Doctor: Can't you do it any other style?
    Lady: Oh, I can, Doctor; but the dog can't!