|"Hello, baby," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you some."|
"Listen," said the woman, nonplussed, "If you can hold it in one hand, I'm not interested."
|Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?|
A: I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna eat me.
|Q: What's the difference between a micro-wave oven and a woman?|
A: Micro-wave oven does not scream when you put a piece of meat in it.
|The only time a man takes care of a woman's hair is while she is giving him a "Blow Job"!|
|A dick has a sad life:|
His hair is in mess;
His family consists of nuts;
His neighbor's an asshole;
His best friend's a pussy;
And his owner beats him.
|Lesbians can also take Viagra.|
They don't have to swallow it, they can just let it melt on their tongues.
|Q: Why sperm donation is more expensive than blood donation?|
A: Because it's HANDMADE.
|Doctor 1: Shit, I had sex with my patient and I'm feeling guilty.|
Doctor 2: It happens in our profession, take it easy.
Doctor 1: There's a difference. You see, unlike you, I am a veterinarian.
|Doctor: Why your knees all blistered?
Lady: Because of doggy style sex!|
Doctor: Can't you do it any other style?
Lady: Oh, I can, Doctor; but the dog can't!
|Q: Why was the gay guy fired from the sperm bank?|
A: Because he was caught drinking on the job.