• A young lady walks into a doctors office.
    Lady: Doctor, I'm suffering from a terrible discharge."
    The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says "how does that feel?"
    Lady: Oooh doctor, that feels lovely... but the discharge is from my ear!
  • Always guard your rear when in hospital. It's hostile enema territory!
  • Old man: Ever since my heart transplant, I always think of sex, money and more sex. Have I grown young?<br />
Doctor: No. Actually, the heart belonged to a prostitute!
    Old man: Ever since my heart transplant, I always think of sex, money and more sex. Have I grown young?
    Doctor: No. Actually, the heart belonged to a prostitute!
  • A woman made an appointment with her gynaecologist.
    "What seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor.
    "Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."
    The doctor had a look, chuckled and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the sticker's off bananas"!
  • Patient to psychiatrist, "Doctor I am so ugly that I get depressed. I have no friends and everyone laughs at me. Please help me."
    Psychiatrist, "I'll do my best. Now go and lie face down on the couch there."
  • A mediine Professor to his assistant, "Between you and me, we ought to able to get this lady pregnant"!
  • Jeeto: Doctor, what's the best time for weaning a baby?
    Doctor: When you see teeth marks!
  • An ophthalmologist cured a famous painter of his cataract. In gratitude, the good fellow painted a portrait of the doctor in the pupil of an eye and presented it to him.
    The doctor shuddered to think what he would paint when his wife, an obstetrician, delivered the artist's wife!
  • The wife of an obstetrician to his hubby's flirtatious patient, "My husband delivers babies. He does not install them".
  • Patient: Doctor, I've had sex abortions when I was unmarried but ever since I have tied the knot I am unable to conceive.
    Obstetrician: Evidently you do not breed in captivity.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT