|After bypass surgery, patient to doctor: Can I have sex?|
Doctor: Yes, but only with your wife. Your heart would not be able to bear any excitement!
|A young lady walks into a doctors office.|
Lady: Doctor, I'm suffering from a terrible discharge."
The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says "how does that feel?"
Lady: Oooh doctor, that feels lovely... but the discharge is from my ear!
|Always guard your rear when in hospital. It's hostile enema territory!|
|Old man: Ever since my heart transplant, I always think of sex, money and more sex. Have I grown young?|
Doctor: No. Actually, the heart belonged to a prostitute!
|A woman made an appointment with her gynaecologist.|
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor.
"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."
The doctor had a look, chuckled and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the sticker's off bananas"!
|Patient to psychiatrist, "Doctor I am so ugly that I get depressed. I have no friends and everyone laughs at me. Please help me."|
Psychiatrist, "I'll do my best. Now go and lie face down on the couch there."
|A mediine Professor to his assistant, "Between you and me, we ought to able to get this lady pregnant"!|
|Jeeto: Doctor, what's the best time for weaning a baby?|
Doctor: When you see teeth marks!
|An ophthalmologist cured a famous painter of his cataract. In gratitude, the good fellow painted a portrait of the doctor in the pupil of an eye and presented it to him.|
The doctor shuddered to think what he would paint when his wife, an obstetrician, delivered the artist's wife!
|The wife of an obstetrician to his hubby's flirtatious patient, "My husband delivers babies. He does not install them".|