• Your best friend has three girlfriends.
    Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me.
    All 3 wants to do something special so they set up some dates.
    Three days ago Doe kisses him.
    Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex.
    Yesterday, who sucks his Dick?
  • Come touch me gently, baby and make me yours;
    I like your sweet smell, it makes me want you more.
    Make love to me, stay in my arms and hug me tight;
    I am your babe forever and not for just only one night!
  • Love happens when your spouse is out of town!
    Love happens when your spouse is out of town!
  • I just want to put onions in your pants and cry myself to sleep!
  • My name is XYZ... remember it by heart, you'll be screaming it later!
  • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight!
  • You're my Funny, Understanding, Cute, Kind, Intelligent, Naughty, God-fearing, Sweet, Honest, Independent and Truthful friend.
    In short, you're my...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    F.U.C.K.I.N.G. S.H.I.T. friend!
  • Bitch, please! The only thing virgin about you is your nose. And even that's been fingered!
  • Those pants would look better on my floor!
  • If I were you, I'd have sex with me!
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