• An Australian asked a woman whether she would have sex with him. She refused.<br/>
`In that case, do you mind lying down while I have some?`
    An Australian asked a woman whether she would have sex with him. She refused.
    "In that case, do you mind lying down while I have some?"
  • A drunken while kissing his girlfriend, `Darling your lips are very salty.` <br/>
Girl: Stupid stand up!
    A drunken while kissing his girlfriend, "Darling your lips are very salty."
    Girl: Stupid stand up!
  • After having sex with a girl, there's nothing worse than looking down to see a split, leaking condom hanging off the end of your dick, particularly when you weren't wearing one to start with!
    After having sex with a girl, there's nothing worse than looking down to see a split, leaking condom hanging off the end of your dick, particularly when you weren't wearing one to start with!
  • Women just don't like me.<br/>
When I called one of those phone sex lines, the woman said she had a headache!
    Women just don't like me.
    When I called one of those phone sex lines, the woman said she had a headache!
  • Dog: I am man's best friend.<br/>
Cat: I am man's best friend.<br/>
Dog: He even named one of his teeth (canine) after me.<br/>
Cat: Oh yeah? You're so not going to win this one!
    Dog: I am man's best friend.
    Cat: I am man's best friend.
    Dog: He even named one of his teeth (canine) after me.
    Cat: Oh yeah? You're so not going to win this one!
  • I believe in love at first sight but cheap people call it...<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
Erection!
    I believe in love at first sight but cheap people call it...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Erection!
  • Arthritis is the cruelest disease of all.<br/>
It makes a lot of your parts stiff except the one you want!
    Arthritis is the cruelest disease of all.
    It makes a lot of your parts stiff except the one you want!
  • Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what's truly fuckworthy!
    Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what's truly fuckworthy!
  • Dear Olive Oil,<br/>
You're either Virgin or you are not. <br/>
There's no such thing as `Extra Virgin`, OK?
    Dear Olive Oil,
    You're either Virgin or you are not.
    There's no such thing as "Extra Virgin", OK?
  • Porn stars concentrate only on the first five letters of entertainment!
    Porn stars concentrate only on the first five letters of entertainment!
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT