|An Australian asked a woman whether she would have sex with him. She refused.|
"In that case, do you mind lying down while I have some?"
|A drunken while kissing his girlfriend, "Darling your lips are very salty." |
Girl: Stupid stand up!
|After having sex with a girl, there's nothing worse than looking down to see a split, leaking condom hanging off the end of your dick, particularly when you weren't wearing one to start with!|
|Women just don't like me.|
When I called one of those phone sex lines, the woman said she had a headache!
|Dog: I am man's best friend.|
Cat: I am man's best friend.
Dog: He even named one of his teeth (canine) after me.
Cat: Oh yeah? You're so not going to win this one!
|I believe in love at first sight but cheap people call it...|
|Arthritis is the cruelest disease of all.|
It makes a lot of your parts stiff except the one you want!
|Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what's truly fuckworthy!|
|Dear Olive Oil,|
You're either Virgin or you are not.
There's no such thing as "Extra Virgin", OK?
|Porn stars concentrate only on the first five letters of entertainment!|