|How to get laid:|
1. Lay on bed.
2. Wait two hours.
3. Lay becomes past tense.
|In Sex Education class:|
Professor: There is nothing wrong with sex before marriage.
Girl: Thank you Sir, Aapne Toh Hamari Taange Khol Di!
|Sex last night was so quick,|
Girlfriend now calling it a 'Surgical Strike'!
|Surgical Strike is like a Piles operation,|
Doctor tells everyone it was successful but the patient wants to keep it a secret.
Pakistan's denial is totally justifiable!
|Why are all Jewish men circumcised?|
Their women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off!
|On a condom dispensing machine in London it was written:|
"Very Safe! Strictly made as per High British standards."
Someone added below:
"So was the Titanic, but it leaked!"
|Reporter: Swami Ji, it is so cold on this mountain top, what's the secret of your happiness, even in this extreme weather condition?|
Swami Ji: Tulsi and Green Tea. Would you like to have some Green Tea?
Reporter: Of course yes!
Swami Ji: Tulsi, please bring two cups of Green Tea!
|Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" has never seen a pussy before!|
|What do you call a police-woman that shaves her pubes?|
|At an airport, Custom Officer finds a rubber penis in a lady's handbag and asks, "Are you married?"|
Officer: Then why this?
Lady: You've landline at home?
Lady: Then why do you carry a mobile?