|Q: Why are women like parking spaces?|
A: Because all the good ones are taken and all the ones left are handicapped.
|Guns don't kill people, they just put holes in your body. Holes brought you into this life and they can take you out of it.|
|A kid asked a priest, "Father, what is your pastime?"|
The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and immediately answered, "Nun, my child, Nun!"
|Q. What is the difference between tampons and mobile phones?|
A. Mobile phones are for assholes.
|A guy donated blood to his girl friend. After things got sour between them, the guy wanted his blood back.|
The girl threw a bloody tampon at him and said, I'll give it back to you in monthly installments.
|Q: Why do hunters make the best lovers?|
A: Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.
|Ancient Chinese Wisdom for Men:|
Always marry a woman with small hands. It makes your tool look bigger!
|Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?|
A: Beat it - we're closed.
|Arguing about big and small breasts is like making a choice between Budweiser and Heineken!|
Men'll take whatever is available as long as it's not flat.
|At the card shop, a woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head each time, muttering, "No".|
A clerk finally came over and asked, "And how may I help you?"
"I just don't know," said the woman. Do you have any "Sorry, I laughed at your dick cards?"