• Q: Did you hear about the two gay judges?
    A: They tried each other.
  • Monica went up to the pharmacist and stated, "I need to buy condoms."The pharmacist looked up and asked, "Shall I put it on your bill?" "No, thanks", Monica responded. "I prefer to put them on him myself."
  • A young, attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked, "Major, when was the last time you had sex?" "1956," was his reply. "No wonder you look so uptight!" she exclaimed. "Major, you need to get out more!" "I'm not sure I understand you," he answered, glancing at his watch, "It's only 2014 now."
  • A salesman knocks at the door of a home and it's answered by a 12yr old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other.
    The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse me son but is your mom or dad in?"
    To which the boy replies, "Does it fucking look like it?"
  • If you get sexted by someone you don't like, does that mean you just got molested?
    If you get sexted by someone you don't like, does that mean you just got molested?
  • Jeeto: Do you sell Viagra?
    Chemist: Yes we do.
    Jeeto: Does it work?
    Chemist: Yes, it does.
    jeeto: And can you get it over the counter?
    Chemist: Only if I take 2.
  • Girl: Doctor, look at my vagina.
    Doctor: Why your hole is so big?
    Girl: I was raped by the elephant.
    Doctor: Elephants have small dicks.
    Doctor: The bastard fingered me first.
  • Q: Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug dealer?
    A: A hooker because a hooker can clean her crack and re-use it, a drug dealer can't.
  • A good discussion is like a miniskirt;
    Short enough to envince interest and long enough to cover the subject.
  • Q: What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
    A: They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.