• Q: Why are women like parking spaces?
    A: Because all the good ones are taken and all the ones left are handicapped.
  • Guns don't kill people, they just put holes in your body. Holes brought you into this life and they can take you out of it.
    Guns don't kill people, they just put holes in your body. Holes brought you into this life and they can take you out of it.
  • A kid asked a priest, "Father, what is your pastime?"
    The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and immediately answered, "Nun, my child, Nun!"
  • Q. What is the difference between tampons and mobile phones?
    A. Mobile phones are for assholes.
  • A guy donated blood to his girl friend. After things got sour between them, the guy wanted his blood back.
    The girl threw a bloody tampon at him and said, I'll give it back to you in monthly installments.
  • Q: Why do hunters make the best lovers?
    A: Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.
  • Ancient Chinese Wisdom for Men:
    Always marry a woman with small hands. It makes your tool look bigger!
  • Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
    A: Beat it - we're closed.
  • Arguing about big and small breasts is like making a choice between Budweiser and Heineken!
    Men'll take whatever is available as long as it's not flat.
  • At the card shop, a woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head each time, muttering, "No".
    A clerk finally came over and asked, "And how may I help you?"
    "I just don't know," said the woman. Do you have any "Sorry, I laughed at your dick cards?"