• A very sexy & attractive female employee to her boss, "Sir, will you remove something from my breasts?"
    The boss said excitedly, "Wow! what's that?"
    The employee bluntly, "Your eyes, sir!"
  • A family is driving behind a dustcart when a dildo flies out and hits their windscreen. Embarrassed and to protect her young sons innocence, the woman says it was an insect, to which one of the boys replied "I'm surprised it can fly with a cock like that!"
  • You're the 1st thing that comes to my mind. I wish I could start my day with U in my bed. I just love your feel on my lips. You simply make my day.
    I love you, NESCAFE!
  • A bloke wants his 70 year old wife dead. He asks a hitman, "how he would do it?" He says, "I would shoot her below the left nipple". The bloke says, "I want her dead, not fucking knee capped!"
  • Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
    So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
  • IKEA to open 25 stores in India: Finally one can get "one night stand" at IKEA.
  • Apple = Vitamins
    Vitamins = Power
    Power = Work
    Work = Money
    Money = Girls
    Girls = Sex
    Sex = AIDS
    AIDS = Death
    That's the fuckin result of eating Apples!
  • Of all prostitutes, midget prostitutes have the cleanest knees.
  • Real Problem in Old Age:
    Every part of your body feels stiff except the part that you want stiff. Enjoy the most before it's too late!
  • Men are like spray paint.
    One squeeze and they're all over you.