• Difference and Similarity between VAGINA & COFFIN?
    You CUM in one and GO in the other!
    And you certainly got to be STIFF to get into either of them!
  • An obnoxious drunk in a bar keeps hitting on an a lesbian waiting for her date. The drunk just won't take no for an answer.
    "Tell you what, I'll sleep with you if you can name one thing a man can do for me that my dildo can't!" the lesbian smirks.
    The obnoxious drunk thinks for a moment. "Okay, let's see your dildo buy the next round of drinks!"
  • A princess meets a talking frog.
    Princess: "Do I kiss you to make you a handsome prince?"
    Frog: "Babes, that was my grandfather's time...I need a blow job!"
  • Advise to Girls:<br/>
Do not play with stray dogs, you may get rabies;<br/>
And do not play with smart boys, you may get babies!
    Advise to Girls:
    Do not play with stray dogs, you may get rabies;
    And do not play with smart boys, you may get babies!
  • One day, an 80-year-old man comes home and finds his 80-year-old wife doing a handstand, naked, against a wall.
    Shocked, he asks, "What are you doing?"
    She responds, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop in!"
  • When you don't know whether to love or hate;
    When you are in a totally confused state;
    Don't feel bad and don't even debate;
    Just close the door, sit alone and
    .
    .
    .
    .
    MASTURBATE!
  • Old Lady: I want birth control pills.<br />
Doctor: What good is it for you?<br />
Old Lady: It helps me to sleep better.<br />
Doctor: How?<br />
Old Lady: I just put them in my granddaughters milk!
    Old Lady: I want birth control pills.
    Doctor: What good is it for you?
    Old Lady: It helps me to sleep better.
    Doctor: How?
    Old Lady: I just put them in my granddaughters milk!
  • Girl: Fuck you!<br />
Boy: Promise!
    Girl: Fuck you!
    Boy: Promise!
  • An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor.
    The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?"
    The old woman replies, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change"!
  • A kiss is a gamble, sex is a game;
    Boys do the action, girls get the blame;
    They say you're pretty, they say you're fine;
    But 9 months later, ├┐ou hear - "It's not mine"!
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