• I was like 'Whatever Bitches' and the bitches whatevered!
    I was like 'Whatever Bitches' and the bitches whatevered!
  • In today's relationship:<br/>
You can touch each other's private parts.<br/>
But you can't touch each other's cell phones because they are so private!
    In today's relationship:
    You can touch each other's private parts.
    But you can't touch each other's cell phones because they are so private!
  • I have come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than Fuck!
  • Soda becomes Vodka.<br/>
Bikes become cars.<br/>
Kisses turn into sex. Remember when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero?<br/>
Race issues were about who ran the fastest. <br/>
War was only a card game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?<br/>
And we couldn't wait to grow up!
    Soda becomes Vodka.
    Bikes become cars.
    Kisses turn into sex. Remember when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero?
    Race issues were about who ran the fastest.
    War was only a card game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?
    And we couldn't wait to grow up!
  • Isn't it funny how a woman can argue nonstop for 3 hours but 2 minutes into a blowjob, and her jaw hurts!
    Isn't it funny how a woman can argue nonstop for 3 hours but 2 minutes into a blowjob, and her jaw hurts!
  • What is the difference between guilt and shame?<br/>
It's a guilt to sleep with another woman but It's a shame to miss the opportunity!
    What is the difference between guilt and shame?
    It's a guilt to sleep with another woman but It's a shame to miss the opportunity!
  • `Planes, trains and go fuck yourself`: A practical guide to long distance dating!
    "Planes, trains and go fuck yourself": A practical guide to long distance dating!
  • Be who you were before all that stuff happened that dimmed your fucking shine!
    Be who you were before all that stuff happened that dimmed your fucking shine!
  • A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, a Hindu, a Pagan and an atheist all walk into a coffee shop.<br/>
And they talk, laugh, joke, sing, drink coffee and become good friends.<br/>
It's not a joke. It's what happens when you're not an asshole!
    A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, a Hindu, a Pagan and an atheist all walk into a coffee shop.
    And they talk, laugh, joke, sing, drink coffee and become good friends.
    It's not a joke. It's what happens when you're not an asshole!
  • Self driving cars are going to raise sex to a whole other level!