|"Lemme put is this way"|
~ gist of Kamasutra
|Sex is like air - it's not important unless you aren't getting any!|
|I wonder if receptionists at sperm banks ever say "Thanks for coming"!|
|Men are like chocolate bars - sweet, smooth, and they usually go straight to your hips!|
|Do one nice thing for someone today.|
Leave them the F*** alone!
|Why do 'balls' equate to toughness and 'pussy' equates to weakness when even the slightest flick to the nuts sends a guy to his knees and vaginas can push out an entire human being?|
|When a male Octopus finds a mate, he rips off his penis and throws it at the female so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows a new penis.|
If that isn't the most epic way to tell someone "Go fuck yourself" I don't know what is!
|Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!|
|A man's shirt on the naked female body is like a flag on a conquered fortress!|
|If Hilary Clinton wins in 2016, it will be the first time that two presidents have had sex with each other.|