|Men are like chocolate bars - sweet, smooth, and they usually go straight to your hips!|
|Do one nice thing for someone today.|
Leave them the F*** alone!
|Why do 'balls' equate to toughness and 'pussy' equates to weakness when even the slightest flick to the nuts sends a guy to his knees and vaginas can push out an entire human being?|
|When a male Octopus finds a mate, he rips off his penis and throws it at the female so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows a new penis.|
If that isn't the most epic way to tell someone "Go fuck yourself" I don't know what is!
|Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!|
|A man's shirt on the naked female body is like a flag on a conquered fortress!|
|If Hilary Clinton wins in 2016, it will be the first time that two presidents have had sex with each other.|
|'Luck' and 'Fuck' are directly proportional to each other.
When 'Luck' favours, you can 'Fuck' the whole world;
But when 'Luck' fails, the whole world begins to 'Fuck' You!
|Too many assholes,|
Not enough bullets!
|Credibility is like virginity... once you lose it, you can never get it back!|