|Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole!|
|Life is like Sex - you can either lie back and let it screw you or you can get on top and ride the hell out of it!|
|Why is life like a penis?|
Because when it's soft it's hard to beat... but when it's hard you get screwed!
|Things that get fucked almost everyday.|
|The ultimate truth of Life:|
Success kisses you in Private;
But failure always fucks you in Public!
|Life is s( o )( o ) much funnier when you have a dirty mind!|
|The extreme irony of Life:|
Wives don't get pregnant after many attempts and girlfriends get pregnant even after taking many precautions!
|Life is t( o )( o ) much fun when you have a dirty mind!|
|Always remember in life that when no one is with you. And when all the doors are closed around you,|
it's time to watch PORN!
|There are only 5 things that one needs in life:|
And Good *UCK! (your interpretation may vary according to your needs)