|What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?|
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
|Last night, I told my husband, we should try some role reversal in bed.|
And the bastard said he had a headache!
|Husband is praying before going to bed.|
Wife: What are you praying for?
Husband: For guidance.
Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!
|Husband: Want a quickie?|
Wife: As opposed to what?
|Wife: Apne Mere Boobs Choos-Choos Kar Bade Kar Diye Hain.|
Husband: Agar Aisa Hota Toh Mera Lund Mere Ghutne Tak Pahunch Geya Hota Aur Mujhe Condom Ki Jagah Cycle Ki Tube Lagani Padti!
|A couple during sex:|
Husband: I'm about to come, honey.
Wife: Yes... come on, baby.
Husband: I'm coming, baby... I'm coming...
Wife: Yes... yes... baby. Come come.
Husband: I'm coming, Oh yes, I'm coming.
Wife: Abe... Tu Aadmi Hai Ya Acche Din!
|Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, "You're only interested in one thing," and you can't remember what it is!|
|Husband asks is angry wife for sex. |
Wife: Fuck off, I don't want to see your face.
Husband: Neither do I, let's do it doggy style!
|Husband says to wife: My Olympic condoms have arrived... I think I'll wear Gold tonight.|
Wife: Why not wear Silver and come second for a change!
|Husband asked his wife while performing:|
Husband: Honey, why do I get all my great ideas in bed only?
Wife: Because at that time you're plugged Into A Genius!