• Wife: Our vacuum cleaner has stopped sucking.<br/>
Husband: Maybe it got married?
    Wife: Our vacuum cleaner has stopped sucking.
    Husband: Maybe it got married?
  • I was so excited when my wife texted me that she wanted to be on top tonight.<br/>
Didn't have a clue that she was talking about the bunk bed that we bought last week!
    I was so excited when my wife texted me that she wanted to be on top tonight.
    Didn't have a clue that she was talking about the bunk bed that we bought last week!
  • A man and a woman can just be friends with no sex involved.<br/>
It's called marriage!
    A man and a woman can just be friends with no sex involved.
    It's called marriage!
  • 1st year of marriage: Great sex! Now let's cuddle and fall asleep.<br/>
10th year of marriage: Sex? We just did that in April!
    1st year of marriage: Great sex! Now let's cuddle and fall asleep.
    10th year of marriage: Sex? We just did that in April!
  • Ambulances and women have a lot in common. They both make a lot of noise to let you know that they're coming!
    Ambulances and women have a lot in common. They both make a lot of noise to let you know that they're coming!
  • After all these years my wife still thinks I'm sexy.
    Every time I walk by she says, "What an Ass"!
  • What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?<br />A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
    What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
    A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
  • Last night, I told my husband, we should try some role reversal in bed.<br/>
And the bastard said he had a headache!
    Last night, I told my husband, we should try some role reversal in bed.
    And the bastard said he had a headache!
  • Husband is praying before going to bed.<br/>
Wife: What are you praying for?<br/>
Husband: For guidance.<br/>
Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!
    Husband is praying before going to bed.
    Wife: What are you praying for?
    Husband: For guidance.
    Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!
  • Husband: Want a quickie?<br/>
Wife: As opposed to what?
    Husband: Want a quickie?
    Wife: As opposed to what?