|My wife and I finally became sexually compatible... we achieve simultaneous headaches!|
|The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling!|
|On the 1st night after marriage:|
Wife: Please, let's spend our 1st night 'Understanding' each other.
Husband: Darling, something 'Under' is already 'Standing' for you! Men will be MEN.
|How do you know when your wife is really dead?|
Your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger!
|My wife suggested we have coffee at home to save money. If she's really serious about saving money, she should give me sex at home!|
|If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?|
Divorce proceedings, most likely!
|What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?|
|Wife: Whenever I sing classical why do you go and stand in the balcony.|
Husband: To ensure that our neighbours don't think I'm fucking you forcefully!
|Newly weds sleep - LIPS to LIPS!|
Old ones - HIPS to HIPS!
|My smart phone just auto-corrected "fuck you" to "whatever you say, honey"!|