|Newly weds sleep - LIPS to LIPS!|
Old ones - HIPS to HIPS!
|My smart phone just auto-corrected "fuck you" to "whatever you say, honey"!|
|A share broker caught his wife in bed with her boyfriend, shocked he asked his wife, "What are you doing with him?"|
His wife replied, "Darling, I've gone public!"
|The wife comes back home from the doctor and says to her husband, "Honey, I have a sad news - the gynecologist told me not have sex for three weeks".|
Husband: And what the dentist say?
|Playboy is planning coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold shall be the same woman!|
|This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them.|
"You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money."
Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
|A man and his wife are in the bedroom one night and they have just finished the sex act.|
"Honey, did you enjoy the sex we just made?", he asks.
"Yes, of course, Dear. Didn't you hear me laughing?"
|Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?|
She knows she's given her last blow job!
|What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?|
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
|You know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man's sex life?|
Because women know if he'll eat one of those, he'll eat anything!