• I just wish my wife could look down from Heaven and see me now. But no, the cunt is still alive!
  • A man surfing TV channels asks his wife, "Darling, may I watch T20 match?"
    Wife: You better watch only the replay of Gayle's innings of 175. That way, you might learn some porn!
  • BEFORE MARRIAGE:<br />
Roses are Red, Sky is Blue; You're beautiful, I love you!<br />
AFTER MARRIAGE:<br />
Roses are Dead, I have Flu; Don't eat my head, F**k you!
    BEFORE MARRIAGE:
    Roses are Red, Sky is Blue; You're beautiful, I love you!
    AFTER MARRIAGE:
    Roses are Dead, I have Flu; Don't eat my head, F**k you!
  • A husband and wife were engaged in the sex act.
    Husband: Honey, why do I get all my great ideas in bed only?
    Wife: It's because at that time, you're plugged into a genius!
  • A woman calls her husband into the bedroom. "Now Mike, I want you to take off my blouse!"
    "Good!"
    "Now I also want you to take off my Bra."
    "Good..."
    "Now can you take off my panties."
    "Very Good! Now, don't let me catch you wearing them again!"
  • On 1st night after marriage:
    Wife: Please let's not do it today. Let's spend it on understanding each other.
    Husband: Darling, something 'Under' is already 'Standing' for you!
  • A husband jumps on bed after removing his clothes.
    Wife: I have fever.
    Husband: I know that. That's why I have powdered my penis with 'Crocin'. Now you decide, whether you want to take it orally or as as an injection!
  • It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
    It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
  • This is absolute partiality:<br />
If she has a headache, she is tired;<br />
If you have a headache, you don't love her any more!
    This is absolute partiality:
    If she has a headache, she is tired;
    If you have a headache, you don't love her any more!
  • My wife hasn't really been up for sex lately. Although sometimes, I wake her up!
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