|I just wish my wife could look down from Heaven and see me now. But no, the cunt is still alive!|
|A man surfing TV channels asks his wife, "Darling, may I watch T20 match?"|
Wife: You better watch only the replay of Gayle's innings of 175. That way, you might learn some porn!
Roses are Red, Sky is Blue; You're beautiful, I love you!
Roses are Dead, I have Flu; Don't eat my head, F**k you!
|A husband and wife were engaged in the sex act.|
Husband: Honey, why do I get all my great ideas in bed only?
Wife: It's because at that time, you're plugged into a genius!
|A woman calls her husband into the bedroom. "Now Mike, I want you to take off my blouse!"|
"Now I also want you to take off my Bra."
"Now can you take off my panties."
"Very Good! Now, don't let me catch you wearing them again!"
|On 1st night after marriage:|
Wife: Please let's not do it today. Let's spend it on understanding each other.
Husband: Darling, something 'Under' is already 'Standing' for you!
|A husband jumps on bed after removing his clothes.|
Wife: I have fever.
Husband: I know that. That's why I have powdered my penis with 'Crocin'. Now you decide, whether you want to take it orally or as as an injection!
|It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!|
|This is absolute partiality:|
If she has a headache, she is tired;
If you have a headache, you don't love her any more!
|My wife hasn't really been up for sex lately. Although sometimes, I wake her up!|