Santa: This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
Banta: But why?
Santa: I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press one?"
So I did. I don't remember much after that!
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A whore to Santa during sex: Keep it up!
Santa: Is it a complaint or compliment!
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Pappu: Dad, what are condoms used for?
Santa: To avoid such questions!
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Santa: I joined a dating agency the other day. It asked me what I liked most and I replied "Girls From Page 3".
Banta: So got any replies?
Santa: None. And even I wondered why I had no replies, until I noticed the letter 'P' wasn't fucking working on my keyboard!
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Jeeto comes back from the doctor and tells her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynaecologist told me not to have sex for at least three weeks.
Santa: And what did the dentist say?
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Jeeto and Santa lying in a bed. Jeeto flings her one leg on Santa's shoulder and whispers: Take me!
Santa does not pay attention to that. Jeeto flings on her second leg and again goes: Take me!
Santa: I'm not going anywhere!
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Banta to Santa: What's exactly this One-Night-Stand?
Santa: It's very simple. First, you you go into a bar at night. Then you hook some girl and offer her drinks. Then somehow, you take her to your room. Then you offer her more drinks to make a mood. And if she sleeps before the act, then it'll be your One-Night-Stand!
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Santa's uncle fell from stairs at night and died. Santa sends message to all his contacts - UNCLE EXPIRED DUE TO NIGHT FALL!
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Banta: Tumhari Shaadi Judwa Behen Mein Kisi Ek Se Ho Gayi To Tum Apni Biwi Ko Kaise Pehchanoge?
Santa: Sharmayi to Saali aur Chillayi to Gharwali!
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Santa and Jeeto lying in a bed. Jeeto flings her one leg on Santa's shoulder and whispers - Take me! Santa did not pay attention to that. Jeeto flings on her second leg and repeats - Take me!
Santa: I'm not going anywhere!
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English SMS
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October 2014
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