Adult and Non Veg SantaBanta Restricted SMS

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Santa: I met a very curvaceous girl in a bar last night. 
Banta: Wow! Then what happened? 
Santa: She said she wanted the night to be magical... so I screwed her and disappeared!
Santa: I met a very curvaceous girl in a bar last night.
Banta: Wow! Then what happened?
Santa: She said she wanted the night to be magical... so I screwed her and disappeared!
Santa: 'Chawanprash' Khaane Se Din Bhar Chusti Rehti Hai. 
Banta: Kaun Din Bhar 'Choosti' Rehti Hai?  Mere Ko Bhi Bata, Main Bhi Thoda 'Chusva' Luon!
Santa: 'Chawanprash' Khaane Se Din Bhar Chusti Rehti Hai.
Banta: Kaun Din Bhar 'Choosti' Rehti Hai? Mere Ko Bhi Bata, Main Bhi Thoda 'Chusva' Luon!
Banta: My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird and says '1st gear, 2nd gear...' 
Santa: My wife is worse, she puts my bird inside her and says 'Full tank, please'!
Banta: My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird and says "1st gear, 2nd gear..."
Santa: My wife is worse, she puts my bird inside her and says "Full tank, please"!
Santa and Banta were in a pub sitting at the bar, staring into their drinks. 
Banta gets a curious look on his face and asks, 'Hey Santa, have you ever seen an ice-cube with a hole in it before?'  Santa: Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years!
Santa and Banta were in a pub sitting at the bar, staring into their drinks.
Banta gets a curious look on his face and asks, "Hey Santa, have you ever seen an ice-cube with a hole in it before?"
Santa: Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years!
Banta shook Santa's hand and asked, "So how's your Sex Partner?
Santa with great sadness, "You are shaking it right now!"
Santa: Hey, how's your sex life? 
Banta: Non-existent. After tiring herself out on WhatsApp during the day, my wife is in no mood to care about What's Up at night!
Santa: Hey, how's your sex life?
Banta: Non-existent. After tiring herself out on WhatsApp during the day, my wife is in no mood to care about What's Up at night!
Angry neighbour: You slept with my wife, you son of a bitch, I'm gonna make you pay for that. 
Santa: Bullshit, why should I pay TWICE!
Angry neighbour: You slept with my wife, you son of a bitch, I'm gonna make you pay for that.
Santa: Bullshit, why should I pay TWICE!
Santa was screwing his secretary up the ass when his wife walked in. 
Jeeto cried out, 'You can't do this to me!' 
Santa: I know that's why I'm doing it with her!
Santa was screwing his secretary up the ass when his wife walked in.
Jeeto cried out, "You can't do this to me!"
Santa: I know that's why I'm doing it with her!
Jeeto (shouting): Stop watching porn, I can hear it in the kitchen.
Santa: I'm not. It's Sharapova vs Serena... I'm watching Tennis!
Santa: Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use a protection. 
Banta: Generally what brand condoms do you use? 
Santa: No No No... not condoms. I use a fake name and a fake number!
Santa: Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use a protection.
Banta: Generally what brand condoms do you use?
Santa: No No No... not condoms. I use a fake name and a fake number!

Quotes

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Trivia

The word 'gymnasium' comes from the Greek word 'gymnazein' which means to exercise naked, which often was done in ancient Greece.

Graffiti

The stronger sex is actually the weaker sex, because of the weakness of the stronger sex for the weaker sex.