Adult and Non Veg SantaBanta Restricted SMS

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Jeeto comes back from the doctor and tells her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynaecologist told me not to have sex for at least three weeks. 
Santa: And what did the dentist say?
Jeeto comes back from the doctor and tells her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynaecologist told me not to have sex for at least three weeks.
Santa: And what did the dentist say?
Jeeto and Santa lying in a bed. Jeeto flings her one leg on Santa's shoulder and whispers: Take me!
Santa does not pay attention to that. Jeeto flings on her second leg and again goes: Take me!
Santa: I'm not going anywhere!
Santa and Preeto shop ke Bahar Khade Andar Dekh Rahe Thay. 
Shopkeeper: M'am, please come in and choose. 
Santa Gusse Se: Behen de Laude, tu Bahar Aake Mera Choos!
Santa and Preeto shop ke Bahar Khade Andar Dekh Rahe Thay.
Shopkeeper: M'am, please come in and choose.
Santa Gusse Se: Behen de Laude, tu Bahar Aake Mera Choos!
Banta to Santa: What's exactly this One-Night-Stand? 
Santa: It's very simple. First, you you go into a bar at night. Then you hook some girl and offer her drinks. Then somehow, you take her to your room. Then you offer her more drinks to make a mood. And if she sleeps before the act, then it'll be your One-Night-Stand!
Banta to Santa: What's exactly this One-Night-Stand?
Santa: It's very simple. First, you you go into a bar at night. Then you hook some girl and offer her drinks. Then somehow, you take her to your room. Then you offer her more drinks to make a mood. And if she sleeps before the act, then it'll be your One-Night-Stand!
Santa's uncle fell from stairs at night and died. Santa sends message to all his contacts - UNCLE EXPIRED DUE TO NIGHT FALL!
Santa's uncle fell from stairs at night and died. Santa sends message to all his contacts - UNCLE EXPIRED DUE TO NIGHT FALL!
Banta: Tumhari Shaadi Judwa Behen Mein Kisi Ek Se Ho Gayi To Tum Apni Biwi Ko Kaise Pehchanoge?<br/>

Santa: Sharmayi to Saali aur Chillayi to Gharwali!
Banta: Tumhari Shaadi Judwa Behen Mein Kisi Ek Se Ho Gayi To Tum Apni Biwi Ko Kaise Pehchanoge?
Santa: Sharmayi to Saali aur Chillayi to Gharwali!
Santa and Jeeto lying in a bed. Jeeto flings her one leg on Santa's shoulder and whispers - Take me! Santa did not pay attention to that. Jeeto flings on her second leg and repeats - Take me!
Santa: I'm not going anywhere!
Santa came home bleeding with torn clothes.
Ghar Walon Ne Poocha Kee Hoya, Kanjra?
Santa: Almari Banan Vaste Phatte Le Ke Main Bus Vich Chareya Te Phatte Floor Te Rakh Ditte.
Ik Bibi Uste Pair Rakh Ke Baith Gayee. Jado Mera Pind Aaya, Main Bas Bibi Nu Inna Hi Kya... " Chal Bibi, Latta Chak, Phatte Chakiye"!
Santa: Have you heard of the new movie called 'Constipation'? 
Banta: No. Has it been released? 
Santa: No. It hasn't come out yet!
Santa: Have you heard of the new movie called 'Constipation'?
Banta: No. Has it been released?
Santa: No. It hasn't come out yet!
Doctor after examining Santa: Have you ever given yourself a prostate examination? 
Santa: Not deliberately, but my wife sometimes buys cheap toilet paper!
Doctor after examining Santa: Have you ever given yourself a prostate examination?
Santa: Not deliberately, but my wife sometimes buys cheap toilet paper!

Quotes

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Trivia

Some men experience instant feelings of sadness and regret after sex. It is known as "post-coital tristesse".

Graffiti

Surprise Sex is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison!