Adult and Non Veg SantaBanta Restricted SMS

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Banta to Santa: What's exactly this One-Night-Stand? 
Santa: It's very simple. First, you you go into a bar at night. Then you hook some girl and offer her drinks. Then somehow, you take her to your room. Then you offer her more drinks to make a mood. And if she sleeps before the act, then it'll be your One-Night-Stand!
Banta to Santa: What's exactly this One-Night-Stand?
Santa: It's very simple. First, you you go into a bar at night. Then you hook some girl and offer her drinks. Then somehow, you take her to your room. Then you offer her more drinks to make a mood. And if she sleeps before the act, then it'll be your One-Night-Stand!
Santa's uncle fell from stairs at night and died. Santa sends message to all his contacts - UNCLE EXPIRED DUE TO NIGHT FALL!
Santa's uncle fell from stairs at night and died. Santa sends message to all his contacts - UNCLE EXPIRED DUE TO NIGHT FALL!
Banta: Tumhari Shaadi Judwa Behen Mein Kisi Ek Se Ho Gayi To Tum Apni Biwi Ko Kaise Pehchanoge?<br/>

Santa: Sharmayi to Saali aur Chillayi to Gharwali!
Banta: Tumhari Shaadi Judwa Behen Mein Kisi Ek Se Ho Gayi To Tum Apni Biwi Ko Kaise Pehchanoge?
Santa: Sharmayi to Saali aur Chillayi to Gharwali!
Santa and Jeeto lying in a bed. Jeeto flings her one leg on Santa's shoulder and whispers - Take me! Santa did not pay attention to that. Jeeto flings on her second leg and repeats - Take me!
Santa: I'm not going anywhere!
Santa came home bleeding with torn clothes.
Ghar Walon Ne Poocha Kee Hoya, Kanjra?
Santa: Almari Banan Vaste Phatte Le Ke Main Bus Vich Chareya Te Phatte Floor Te Rakh Ditte.
Ik Bibi Uste Pair Rakh Ke Baith Gayee. Jado Mera Pind Aaya, Main Bas Bibi Nu Inna Hi Kya... " Chal Bibi, Latta Chak, Phatte Chakiye"!
Santa: Have you heard of the new movie called 'Constipation'? 
Banta: No. Has it been released? 
Santa: No. It hasn't come out yet!
Santa: Have you heard of the new movie called 'Constipation'?
Banta: No. Has it been released?
Santa: No. It hasn't come out yet!
Doctor after examining Santa: Have you ever given yourself a prostate examination? 
Santa: Not deliberately, but my wife sometimes buys cheap toilet paper!
Doctor after examining Santa: Have you ever given yourself a prostate examination?
Santa: Not deliberately, but my wife sometimes buys cheap toilet paper!
Santa to his wife, 'Let's try anal tonight'. 
Jeeto: Fuck that shit! 
Santa: That's the spirit!
Santa to his wife, "Let's try anal tonight".
Jeeto: Fuck that shit!
Santa: That's the spirit!
Banta: How many pegs do you like to drink every evening? 
Santa: I enjoy 2 pegs of whisky each evening for it's health benefits. 
Banta: Just 2 pegs? 
Santa: The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves; and to make my wife look more appealing, so I can make it out with her!
Banta: How many pegs do you like to drink every evening?
Santa: I enjoy 2 pegs of whisky each evening for it's health benefits.
Banta: Just 2 pegs?
Santa: The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves; and to make my wife look more appealing, so I can make it out with her!
Santa while fondling his mistress breasts, was mumbling, "Oh my Gujarat! Oh my Gujarat!"
Mistress: Why are you calling them Gujarat?
Santa: This seems to be the only way to develop them!

Quotes

Chastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions, he added parenthetically, out of Remy de Gourmont.

Trivia

The brain has an "automatic penis maintenance function" to force erections if unused for too long.

Graffiti

One who hesitates later masturbates.