|Santa's uncle fell from stairs at night and died. Santa sends message to all his contacts - UNCLE EXPIRED DUE TO NIGHT FALL!|
|Banta: Tumhari Shaadi Judwa Behen Mein Kisi Ek Se Ho Gayi To Tum Apni Biwi Ko Kaise Pehchanoge?|
Santa: Sharmayi to Saali aur Chillayi to Gharwali!
|Santa and Jeeto lying in a bed. Jeeto flings her one leg on Santa's shoulder and whispers - Take me!
Santa did not pay attention to that. Jeeto flings on her second leg and repeats - Take me!|
Santa: I'm not going anywhere!
|Santa: Have you heard of the new movie called 'Constipation'?|
Banta: No. Has it been released?
Santa: No. It hasn't come out yet!
|Doctor after examining Santa: Have you ever given yourself a prostate examination?|
Santa: Not deliberately, but my wife sometimes buys cheap toilet paper!
|Santa to his wife, "Let's try anal tonight".|
Jeeto: Fuck that shit!
Santa: That's the spirit!
|Banta: How many pegs do you like to drink every evening?|
Santa: I enjoy 2 pegs of whisky each evening for it's health benefits.
Banta: Just 2 pegs?
Santa: The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves; and to make my wife look more appealing, so I can make it out with her!
|Santa while fondling his mistress breasts, was mumbling, "Oh my Gujarat! Oh my Gujarat!"|
Mistress: Why are you calling them Gujarat?
Santa: This seems to be the only way to develop them!
|Santa: My boss says I could be replaced by a machine.|
Banta: That's funny, that's what my wife says!
|Santa: I met a very curvaceous girl in a bar last night.|
Banta: Wow! Then what happened?
Santa: She said she wanted the night to be magical... so I screwed her and disappeared!