• Covid-19 Vaccination in India

    A Bengali, a Punjabi, a Gujarati and a Hardcore Leftist Keralite were reluctant to take the Covid-19 vaccine. The Doctor called them in one by one.

    He told the Bengali , "You must take your vaccine."

    The Bengali said, "No!".

    The Doctor said, "Every cultured and civilised man takes the vaccine."

    The Bengali took his vaccine.

    Then the Punjabi came in. The Doctor said, "Here is your vaccine." Punjabi said, "No!" The Doctor said, "Your neighbours have all taken the vaccine."

    So the Punjabi took the vaccine.

    Then the Gujarati came in. The Doctor said, "Take your vaccine."

    Gujarati said, "No!" And the Doctor said, "It's an order from Prime Minister Modi."

    The Gujarati took his vaccine.

    Finally the Keralite came in. The Doctor said, "take your vaccine."

    Keralite said, "No."

    The Doctor said, "Every cultured and civilised man takes the vaccine."

    The Keralite said, "Go away, I will never take the vaccine."

    The Doctor then said, "All your neighbours have taken it."

    The Keralite replied, "I don't care."

    The Doctor, now desperate, said, "It's an order from Prime Minister Modi."

    The Keralite replied, "I don't care."

    Finally the Doctor asked, "Which state are you from?" The Keralite said, "I am from Kerala."

    The Doctor said, "Oh sorry, you are not entitled to have the vaccine."

    The Keralite said, "What!!? Who are you to tell me that I cannot have the vaccine? How dare you deny me my fundamental rights! Give me the vaccine or I will protest outside your clinic!"

    The doctor gladly gave him the vaccine and the Mallu proudly took it and said to his comrades, "I fought and got the vaccination!"
  • Bizarre Automobile Insurance Claims

    The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.

    I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

    I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

    I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.

    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
  • Corporate Recruiting

    Agency: Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their placements, sir?

    MD: Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:

    1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in Accounts department.

    2. If they are recounting the bricks, put them in Auditing.

    3. If they messed up the whole room with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

    4. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

    5. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations

    6. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

    7. If they broke the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

    8. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

    9. If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

    10. If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

    11. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning. And...

    12. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
  • Report Of The Day!

    The duty officer reported to his CO: Sir nothing significant has happened during my duty hours - only the dog died.

    The CO asked: How did the dog die?

    The duty officer: Ate too much of mule meat sir.

    The CO: Mule meat ? Where did that come from?

    The duty officer: Sir actually we had to shoot one of our mules.

    The CO: Why?

    The duty officer: You see sir, he was in terrible pain due to over exhaustion caused by overload.

    The CO: How over load ?

    The duty officer: We had to carry water in barrels from the river and this mule got overworked.

    The CO: Water ? Why ?

    The duty officer: Sir because we had a fire in the Quarter Guard... everything is turned to ashes.

    The CO: Goddamn it... this is what you should have begun your report with.

    The duty officer: Well actually when I reported to 2IC, I did that, but he fainted on the spot....