• Trump Fan

    A teacher asked his class how many of them were Trump fans. Not quite knowing what a Trump fan is, but wanting to be loved by the teacher, all of the kids raised their hands, except Little Johnny.

    The teacher asked Little Johnny why did you decide to be different... again.

    Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not a Trump fan."

    "Why aren't you a Trump fan?"

    Johnny said, "Because I'm a Democrat."

    The teacher asked him why he is a Democrat.

    Little Johnny replied, "Well my mom is a Democrat and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat."

    The teacher, annoyed by this answer, asked him, "If your mother was an idiot and your father a jerk, what would that make you?"

    Little Johnny replied, "A Trump fan."
  • Learning a Foreign Language

    A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting.

    "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.

    The two Englishmen just stare at him.

    "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" The two continue to stare.

    "Parlare Italiano?" No response.

    "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.

    The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

    The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Maybe we should learn a foreign language...."

    "Why?" says the other, "That bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
  • Wrong Rowing Technique

    Yeshiva University decided to field a rowing team. Unfortunately, they lose race after race. Even though they practice and practice for hours everyday, they never manage to come in any better than dead last.

    Finally, the team decides to send Morris Fishbein, its captain, to spy on Harvard, the perennial championship team. So Morris schlepps off to Cambridge and hides in the bushes next to the Charles River, where he carefully watches the Harvard team at its daily practices.

    After a week, Morris returns to Yeshiva. "Well, I figured out their secret," he announces.

    "What? Tell us! Tell us!" his teammates shout.

    "We should have only one guy yelling. The other eight should row."
  • Medical Bill!

    A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They're immediately taken back to a room.

    Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.

    `This must be a mistake,` the man says. `I've been here only 20 minutes!`

    `No mistake,` the doctor says. `It's $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.`