A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

    Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

    The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, "Holy crap. That must be my husband!"

    So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

    A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

    The woman yelled back, "Yeah, then why were you running?"

    And then the fight started...
  • The Cockpit As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc.
    Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while our captain, Rachel Cole and crew take you safely to your destination...
  • Second Career Allan retired in his early 50's and started a second career. However, even though he loved his new job, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late.
    But he was a good worker and really sharp, so his boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day, his boss called him...
  • All Girls Bar A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
    After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the server, "Hey, you want to hear a blond joke...
  • How to Get into Heaven? When Tim was just a wee lad, he went regularly to Sunday School.
    One day, his teacher decided to test Tim to see if he understood the concept of getting to Heaven.
    She asked him, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?"
  • How do you like your eggs? Santa and Jeeto got married. Santa thought this would be a modern marriage, which meant equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, Santa brought...