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    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

    They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace."

    The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

    After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir,I' m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this... somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulation on your new location.'''
  • Constipated Horse Banta owned a great big farm. He had lots of animals like pigs, chickens, horses and cows. But then one day one of his horses became constipated so he went to the vet...
  • Geriatric Condition An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal, and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but...
  • Visiting a friend Banta goes over to visit one of his friends. While he is at her friend's house it starts to rain very heavily the type that is not going to stop. His friend tells him...
  • Genealogy Explained A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race begin?"
    The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made...
  • Morning Prayer Dear Lord: So far today, I am doing alright. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self indulgent...