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    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

    Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."

    "Yes, sir," the boys said.

    "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

    A little fellow at the back shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."
  • Best Sermon After years of his wife's pleading, this rich good ole' boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand.
    He said, "Reverend, that was the best.
  • The Will A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:
    "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and...
  • The Matchmaker The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Schwartzberg, a confirmed bachelor for many years.
    "Mr. Schwartzberg, don't leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and...
  • Scratch Golfer Two women were paired together as partners in a club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time.
    After introductions, the first golfer asked, "What's your handicap....
  • Soldier's Affairs A soldier serving overseas and far from home was very bitter and terribly upset when his girl wrote that she was breaking off their engagement and wanted her photograph...