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    ARIES: Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!

    TAURUS: Well, I prefer natural light if at all possible. Are you absolutely positive that lightbulb is burned out? I hate to throw it away if it still might be useful.

    GEMINI: Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...Who are you?...What are you?.....Where are You?.....How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!

    CANCER: Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners.

    LEO: Hi, Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your kid!

    VIRGO:Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw it up like you did the last time.

    LIBRA:Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?

    SCORPIO: Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards don't deserve it.

    SAGITTARIUS:OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING, ALL-LOVING, ALL-POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES - HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!

    CAPRICORN: Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway.

    AQUARIUS: Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!

    PISCES: Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory.
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