A young Army private seeks permission from his commanding officer to leave camp the following weekend.

    "You see," he explains, "my wife's expecting."

    "I understand," the officer tells him. "You go, and tell your wife that I wish her luck."

    The following week the same soldier is back again with the same explanation: "My wife's expecting."

    The officer looks surprised, "Still expecting?" asks. `Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the weekend off."

    When the same soldier appears again the third week, however, the officer loses his temper.

    "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting," he says.

    "Yes, sir," says the soldier resolutely. "She's still expecting."

    "What in heaven is she expecting?" the officer. Says the soldier simply, "Me."
  • An Atheist Meets God An Atheist Meets God An atheist was fishing on Loch Ness when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. With an easy flip, the beast tossed his boat high into the air and then opened its huge mouth to catch him...
  • The Lost Purse A woman stepped off a bus and realised she had left her purse on board. When she turned around, the bus was already long gone. She called the bus company and was relieved to find out the bus driver...
  • Little Rabbits A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
    As the shopkeeper`s heart melts...
  • Perfect Girl! A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married.
    The gentleman replied, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I`ve been looking for the perfect girl...
  • The Easter Bunny A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately The rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man...