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    The couple entered the resort's swanky dining room. "I'm sorry," apologized the Maitre d, "but there are no tables available."
    "One moment, my friend," said the man, drawing himself up. "I happen to be Gregory R. Carutheres, the sportsman."
    "I'd like to accommodate you, Mr. Caruthers, but there just isn't a table available this evening."
    "I bet if President Trump came in and asked for a table, there'd be one available."
    "Yes-s-s,` the other admitted, "I suppose there would be a table available for President Trump."
    "Good! I'll take it. The President isn't coming!"
  • Pakistani Hell A man dies and goes to hell. Once there, he finds that there is a different hell for each country, so he tries to seek out the least painful one. At the door to German Hell, he is told: "First they put you...
  • Guess My Age A South Indian and his six year old son went to the Zoo.

    At the Elephant`s section, there was a sign put up, "Feed the elephant a bun to get your age." The little boy gives a bun to the elephant...
  • My Wife is Expecting A young Army private seeks permission from his commanding officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explains, "my wife`s expecting."
    "I understand," the officer tells him. "You go, and tell your wife
  • Upset Wife Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before. The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into any...
  • An Atheist Meets God An Atheist Meets God An atheist was fishing on Loch Ness when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. With an easy flip, the beast tossed his boat high into the air and then opened its huge mouth to catch him...