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    The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

    The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.

    The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

    The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."
  • Pet Fish! A man gets stopped by a game warden with his basket full of fish.
    Warden: Do you have a permit for all these fish?
    Man: No sir. These are all my pet fish...
  • The Captain’s Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem...
  • Profit Making Deal The son of a financier bursts into his father`s office and says, "Dad, lend me $5,000."
    "What for?" his father asks.
    "I`ve got a sure tip on the market...
  • Medical Prescription Jane walked into a pharmacy, strolled over to the counter, and caught the pharmacist`s attention. "Can I please get some arsenic?" she asked.
    "Arsenic? What do you want arsenic...
  • New Secretary Pedro gets a New Secretary. He faces a volley of rapid fire questions from his wife, who is always a bit suspicious of her husband`s roving eye. Dora (Pedro`s wife): Does your new secretary have nice legs...