During Sermon on a Sunday service, the Pastor said, "If I had all the Beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

    And the congregation cried, "Amen! "

    "And if I had all the Wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river."

    And the congregation cried: "Amen!"

    "And if I had all the Whiskey and Rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river."

    Again the congregation cried, "Amen!..."

    The Pastor sat down.

    The Junior Pastor then stood up and said, "For our closing Hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our Hymn books and sing, "We shall drink from the river."

    The whole Congregation SCREAMED *HALLELUJAH!*
  • Geographical Pun Timmy : I`m Hungary.
    Mum : Why don`t you Czech the fridge?
    Timmy : Okay, I`m Russian to the kitchen.
    Mum : Hmm... maybe you`ll find some...
  • Bill Gates' Old Friend A guy ordered a drink in an airport cocktail lounge and suddenly realized that sitting across from him was Bill Gates. Barely concealing his enthusiasm, he introduced himself, "Hello, Mr. Gates. My name is...
  • Children and Wisdom A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It`s hard to believe these were actually...
  • A Nutty Affair So I was sitting on the bus and somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw an old lady. She said to me, "Sonny, would you like some nuts? I`ve got a couple hazelnuts and almonds if you`d like....
  • Your Job Sucks? Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains...