|Two buddies, Ralph and Rob, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Rob throws up all over himself. "Oh, no. Now Jane will kill me!"|
Ralph says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."
So they stay for another couple of hours and got even drunker.
Eventually Rob rolls into home and his wife Jane starts to give him a bad time.
"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, Rob says, "Now wain aminit, I can e'splain everything! Itsh not what you think. I only had a couple drinks. But this other guy got sick on me...he'd had one too many and he just couldn't hold his liquor. He said he was very sorry an' gave me twenty bucks for the cleaning bill!"
Jane looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks."
"Oh, yeah... I almosh forgot, he shit in my pants, too"