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    JACK (3 yrs) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: `Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?

    MELANIE (5yrs) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Said Melanie, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

    STEVEN (3yrs) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

    BRITTANY (4yrs) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know?"

    SUSAN (4yrs) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

    MARC (4yrs) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

    JAMES (4yrs) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"
  • Wet paint... Keep Off! Army traditions and discipline run deep. A regiment had a new CO. On inspection he saw two soldiers guard a bench. He asked the reason. "We don`t know, Sir The last CO told us...
  • Employee Benefits A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee`s pay...
  • Call of Nature One day during school, a 2nd grade teacher was in the middle of a math lesson. Suddenly a little girl named Susie stood up and yelled, "Teacher, teacher! Can I go to the potty, I have to pee...
  • What Marriage Teaches You On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration...
  • Expensive Fish Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune...