•  

    A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian."

    Passenger: "Who?"

    Cabbie: "Brian. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian, every single time."

    Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

    Cabbie: "Not Brian. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

    Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

    Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian, he could do everything right." Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."

    Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian ....."

    Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

    Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died....... I'm married to his bloody widow."
  • Good Deed A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
    "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
    "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered...
  • Hunting Gone Wrong A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn`t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out...
  • Antique Collectors' Dinner A Colombian, Russian, Arab and a Punjabi were in a discussion during an Antique Collectors` Dinner. Colombian Drug Lord: "I have loads of money... I want to buy the world`s 10 rarest pens...
  • Matzo Balls A Jewish family invited their gentile neighbors over for holiday dinner. The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is matzo ball soup."
    On seeing the two large...
  • Management Decisions! A king had 10 wild dogs. He used them to torture and kill any minister that misguided him. A minister once gave an opinion which was wrong and which the king didn`t like at all...