•  

    A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

    "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"

    "Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question."

    "I object!" the defense said again.
    "No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."
    The judge ruled, "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."
    So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?"
    The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know!"
  • Show Business A man is hired by the circus to perform a necessary but rather unpleasant task. He is asked to walk behind the elephants in the center ring, shoveling aside their droppings as they walk about. After a rather...
  • Common Sense is Dead Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic...
  • Superfast Turtle A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle`s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape....
  • The Perfect Man! A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You`re just like Brian."
    Passenger: "Who?"
    Cabbie: "Brian. He`s a guy...
  • Most Embarrassing Moment An American girl was visiting England and was invited to a party. While dancing with a stuffy monocled Englishman, her necklace became unfastened and slipped down the back of her dress...