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    Little Johnny went to confession, at the beginning of Lent.... "Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been 3 months since my last confession. In that time I have disobeyed my parents nine times, missed Sunday Mass once, had impure thoughts, oh, about nine hundred times, and played with a girl's private parts."

    "Played with a girl's private parts!" exclaimed the priest. "Whoa, that's pretty serious. For your penance say three rosaries and wash your hands in holy water."

    So Little Johnny knelt down and fudged his way through the laborious incantations of the three rosaries, then he made the trek up to the holy water font and started to wash his dirty little fingers, when the girl who was behind him in the confessional line walks up and says, "Move over, pal. I gotta gargle...."
  • New Hooker and Her First Trick The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, "well, he was a big muscular and...
  • Loose and Floppy Vagina A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret...
  • New Mink Coat Three members of a weekly female bridge quartet were duly impressed when the fourth arrived wearing a gorgeous new mink coat.
    "That`s a lovely garment Joan," purred Kay. "It must have cost...
  • Loose Tampons A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife...
  • Date Night! A guy on a date parks his car and gets the girl in the back seat. They make love, but the girl wants to make love again so the guy complies. She wants more and they do it once again. She still wants...