• Eating at Decrepit Restaurant

    Bill and Moe had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in the millions. Their company employed over two hundred people, and the two executives lived like princes.

    Almost overnight, things changed. Sales dropped sharply, former customers disappeared, the business failed, and personal debts forced both into bankruptcy. Bill and Moe blamed each other for the troubles, and they parted on unfriendly terms.

    Five years later, Bill drove up to a decrepit diner and stopped for a cup of coffee. As he was discreetly wiping some crumbs from the table, a waiter approached. Bill looked up and gasped.

    "Moe!" he said, shaking his head. "It's a terrible thing, seeing you working in a place as bad as this."

    "Yeah," Moe said with a smirk. "But at least I don't eat here."
  • Covid-19 Vaccination in India

    A Bengali, a Punjabi, a Gujarati and a Hardcore Leftist Keralite were reluctant to take the Covid-19 vaccine. The Doctor called them in one by one.

    He told the Bengali , "You must take your vaccine."

    The Bengali said, "No!".

    The Doctor said, "Every cultured and civilised man takes the vaccine."

    The Bengali took his vaccine.

    Then the Punjabi came in. The Doctor said, "Here is your vaccine." Punjabi said, "No!" The Doctor said, "Your neighbours have all taken the vaccine."

    So the Punjabi took the vaccine.

    Then the Gujarati came in. The Doctor said, "Take your vaccine."

    Gujarati said, "No!" And the Doctor said, "It's an order from Prime Minister Modi."

    The Gujarati took his vaccine.

    Finally the Keralite came in. The Doctor said, "take your vaccine."

    Keralite said, "No."

    The Doctor said, "Every cultured and civilised man takes the vaccine."

    The Keralite said, "Go away, I will never take the vaccine."

    The Doctor then said, "All your neighbours have taken it."

    The Keralite replied, "I don't care."

    The Doctor, now desperate, said, "It's an order from Prime Minister Modi."

    The Keralite replied, "I don't care."

    Finally the Doctor asked, "Which state are you from?" The Keralite said, "I am from Kerala."

    The Doctor said, "Oh sorry, you are not entitled to have the vaccine."

    The Keralite said, "What!!? Who are you to tell me that I cannot have the vaccine? How dare you deny me my fundamental rights! Give me the vaccine or I will protest outside your clinic!"

    The doctor gladly gave him the vaccine and the Mallu proudly took it and said to his comrades, "I fought and got the vaccination!"
  • Bizarre Automobile Insurance Claims

    The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.

    I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

    I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

    I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.

    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
  • Corporate Recruiting

    Agency: Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their placements, sir?

    MD: Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:

    1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in Accounts department.

    2. If they are recounting the bricks, put them in Auditing.

    3. If they messed up the whole room with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

    4. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

    5. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations

    6. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

    7. If they broke the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

    8. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

    9. If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

    10. If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

    11. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning. And...

    12. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.