•  

    A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial --it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
    A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

    Q: Officer, who provided this description?
    A: The officer who responded to the scene.

    Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
    A: Yes sir, with my life.

    Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer--do you have a locker room in the police station--a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
    A: Yes sir, we do.

    Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
    A: Yes sir, I do.

    Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
    A: Yes sir.
    Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
    A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.
  • Blind as a bat!!! A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the cave`s roof to get some sleep. Soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to shut up and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he...
  • Subtle hints ! ! ! 'I`m worried that I`m losing my wife`s love,' the husband told the counselor. 'Has she started to neglect you?'
    'Not at all,' the dejected man replied. 'She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss and...
  • The clean up job!! Santa and Banta are sitting in a bar getting pretty loaded. Suddenly, Banta throws up all over himself. 'Aw man, my wife is going to kill me when she sees this,' he says. Santa replies...
  • Five hundred times!!! Five hundred times!!! A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. 'Madam, I have waited years for a...
  • Lazy Husband 'I`m ashamed of the way we live,' wife said to her lazy husband, our Santa, who refused to find a job. My father pays our rent, my mother buys all of our...