A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife can`t hear him.
    "How bad is it?" the doctor asks.
    "I have no idea", says the husband.
    "Well, please test her. Stand 20 feet away from her and say something. If she doesn`t hear you, get closer and say the same thing. Keep moving closer repeating the comment until she does hear you. That way we`ll have an idea of her range of hearing loss."
    So the man goes home and sees his wife in the kitchen chopping up vegetables for dinner.
    From 20 feet: "What are we having for dinner?"
    No answer. From 10 feet, same thing. From 5 feet, same thing. Finally he`s standing right behind her ...
    "What`s for dinner?"
    She turns around, looks at him and says "For the FOURTH time ... BEEF STEW!"
  • Pissed! Two guys, of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface. After floating under blazing heat, for 6 days, they ran out of food and water. On the 10th day...
  • The perfect substitute! The National Institutes of Health have announced that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation. In their place, they will use attorneys. They have given three reasons for this decision:
    1. There are now more attorneys...
  • Are you serious? An Irish man walks into a bar and there`s a 7 foot tall Bar Tender there. The Bar Tender punches the Irish Man on the face. The Irish man falls on the floor. He finally get up and says to the Bar Tender
  • Billing of a lawyer? A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort...
  • The entry to heaven! Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
    St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, 'What was the name of the ship that crashed into...