Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God....
    "Well, Bill, I`m really confused on this call. I m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created Windows 95. I`m going to do something I ve never done before. In your case, I m going to let you decide where you want to go."
    "Well, what s the difference between the two?" Bill asks.
    God says, "I m willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
    "Fine, but where should I go first?"
    "I ll leave that up to you."
    "Okay, then," says Bill. "Let me try Hell first."
    So Bill goes to Hell. It s a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun is shining, the temperature is perfect. He is very pleased.
    "This is great!" he tells God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"
    "Fine," says God, and off they go.
    Heaven is a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It s nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thinks for a quick minute and decides.
    "Hmm. I think I d prefer Hell," he tells God.
    "Fine," replies God. "As you desire."
    So Bill Gates goes to Hell. Two weeks later, God decides to check on the late billionaire to see how he is doing in Hell. When he gets there, he finds Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amidst hot flames in a dark cave, being burned and tortured by demons.
    "How s everything going?" he asks Bill.
    Bill responds, his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can t believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"
    "Oh ... that was the SCREENSAVER."
  • Drunk Nawab! Nawab sahab has been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he`ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and...
  • Address please ! A cop pulls up Santa and Banta, drunk, and says to Santa, 'What is your name and address ?''I am Santa, of no fixed address.'The cop turns to Banta, and....
  • How long ?? Student: 'How long do you want this report to be?' Teacher: 'I would like you to think of this paper much like a lady`s dress...
  • Suspecting wife! A farmer’s wife was terribly jealous. Evening after evening, she subjected her husband to a searching inspection. When she would find even a single hair on his coat...
  • On and off !!! Santa and Banta wanted to go for camping. They attached the trailer to the Car. Santa wanted to make sure that the car is in good condition before they start. So, he asked Banta to go in front of the car to...