• Beer and Boobs

    A guy walks in to a bar and sits down, just a few seats from him there is a very buxom blonde with huge size 42CC breasts.

    The guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the lady's boobs and splashes all over them...

    The bartender retrieves the glass and licks the beer off the blonde. Each time he calls for a beer, this happens. So after the third beer, he decides to help the bartender out.

    The next time the bartender hits her boobs, he jumps up and starts to lick her breasts... AND SHE DECKS HIM.

    He is laying on the floor moaning and groaning, "Jeez..then why do you let the bartender do it?"

    The blonde replies, "Because he has a liquor license."
  • Not A Natural Blonde!

    "Miss, I'm sorry but we can't employ you as a center-fold model", the editor of a men's magazine explained. "It's all too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black".

    The irate lady picked up a paperweight on his desk and proceeded to slam it down on the editor's fingers.

    "What the hell did you do that for !" he exploded.

    She smiled sweetly and said "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've only been banged once."
  • Screw and Bolt!

    On the first day of the school term the shop teacher was surprised to see a rather proper-looking young lady sitting in the front row of his classroom. Her name was Emily and she was the only girl to sign up for the woodwork class.

    The bemused teacher asked her if she was sure she was in the right class. Emily assured him that she was.

    The teacher, still somewhat puzzled, added, "This course may be a bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?"

    "What exactly do you mean?" Emily asked.

    "Well, for example, do you know the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the teacher expounded.

    After pondering for a moment, Emily admitted, "I can't really say, since I've never been 'bolted'."
  • I Love Being In Bed

    The Blondes at a certain Californian university were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.

    So they pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed, and set up the Blonde Education Department.

    The Blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now.

    They wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos - after all, they now had their own department at the university.

    So they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education Department which sports the saying:

    "I LOVE Being in B.E.D."