• Naughty Sites

    "Hello, help desk."

    "Yes, this is Mrs. Duffy on the sixth floor. I want to report a violation of company policy."

    "What seems to be the trouble, Mrs. Duffy?"

    "I have found some of the computers in the office here are being used to look at orgies."

    "We have filtering software on the network that prevents sites like that from being displayed."

    "Well, I just sat down at one of the computers and clicked on the bookmarks."

    "And there's a list of pornographic sites?"

    "I should say so. Quite a few."

    "They should be blocked by the filter. Did you click on them?"

    "I didn't have to. They say dot O-R-G and I've been around long enough to know what that means."
  • Setting a Password!!!

    WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
    USER: cabbage

    WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
    USER: boiled cabbage

    WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
    USER: 1 boiled cabbage

    WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
    USER: 50bloodyboiled cabbages

    WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
    USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

    WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
    USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!

    WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
    USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

    WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
  • Is email Lika a Penis?

    Some people have and some don't.

    Those who have it would be devastated if it were cut off.

    Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play all day if they didn't have work to do.

    If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

    It has no brain all of it's own. Instead, it use yours.

    It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, "Why on earth did I do that?"

    It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will do the same damn dumb things it did before!
  • Damn You Autocorrect

    Ek admi ne apne Padosi ko sms kiya...

    Dear Sir, Aapko jara sa bhi andaza nahi hai lekin aapko ye jaan kar hairaani jaroor hogi aur gussa bhi aayega... ki aapki knowledge mein aaye bagair , I've been using ur WIFE... I used it double than u ordinarily use it......

    I used it day and night....! I really felt that my requirement for it was more than yours but it is not morally Okkey for me.... And I must confess when I was wrong morally as well as legally....
    But I am sure that you will excuse me for my such naughty act... As otherwise also u were equally keeping it unused... Logically there's nothing wrong if I grabbed the opportunity but it is against social values and moral values... All expenses on your pocket and I am enjoying it for free...

    If you agree, (only if u agree ) from now onwards I am ready to bear 50% expenses or money spent on ur WIFE or with no other option I will get my own.

    I could have continued like this for ever without letting u know anything but hope u'll appreciate my honesty and won't take any action against me... I m also feeling very guilty .!!!

    Neighbour just shot his wife and while he was on his way to the house of person who sent him the sms he received another sms...

    Sorry AUTO CORRECT app. On my phone made it WIFE... Actually it was about ur Wi Fi connection.
    Regards!!!