• Loose and Floppy Vagina

    A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

    Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor.

    "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

    The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."

    "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."

    "And what about the third rose?" she asked.

    "That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."
  • Not Getting Pregnant?

    In a small rural town the local doctor is known for his abrupt bed-side manners. His last appointment for the Friday afternoon shows up a bit late, and he is more agitated than normally.

    "Yeah, you're late sit down and speak up!" he greets the woman.

    "Doctor, I'm having difficulty falling pregnant, I've been trying for years and to no success."

    The doctor doesn't look up and says, "Good get rid of the clothes and go lie on the bed, and be quick about it. I'm in a hurry."

    So the woman walks over to the bed and as she was undressing she slowly and very unsurely says, "Doctor, I actually would have preferred the baby to be my husband's..."
  • Surgery Mix-up

    A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy. When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious looking doctors and asks nervously, "Is there a problem?"

    The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his eyes, "I'm afraid so... I'm sorry but your notes got mixed up and we've given you a sex change rather than a vasectomy."

    The patient is devastated and shockingly replies, "Do you mean to say I'll never experience another erection?"

    The surgeon pauses for a moment then says, "Well, you might, but it won't be yours."
  • Magic Sex Pill

    A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex. He gives her a pill but warns her it is still experimental. He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner and she does.

    About a week later she's back at the doctor and says, "The pill worked great. I put it in his mashed potatoes like you said. It wasn't five minutes later and he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes on the floor, grabbed me and made love right there on the table."

    The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."

    The lady replied, "Naah, That's okay. We aren't going back to that restaurant anyway."