• Date Night!

    A guy on a date parks his car and gets the girl in the back seat. They make love, but the girl wants to make love again so the guy complies.

    She wants more and they do it once again. She still wants more and the guy says "Excuse me a minute, I have to relieve myself."

    While out of the car he notices a man half a block away changing a flat. He asks the man "Look, I've got this gal in my car and I've made love to her four or five times and she still wants more. I'll change your flat if you'll take over for me."

    So that's what the man does and he is just getting in the high numbers when a cop knocks on the window and shines a light on them.

    The cop asks, "What are you doing in there?"

    The guy says, "I'm making love to my wife."

    The cop asks, "Why don't you do that at home?"

    The guy answers, "To tell you the truth, I didn't know it was my wife until you shined the light on her."
  • Parsi Wedding

    At a Parsi wedding at Allbless Baug, everyone got drunk. The bride's & groom's families wrecked the new reception hall fighting with each other. The police had to break up the fighting.

    The next week, both families were in Mumbai High court.

    The judge Soli Dorabji asked, "All right now, what happened?"

    Firdaus Rohinton Pavri said, "Sahebji, I was the best man. I should explain what happened."

    "Go ahead, Firdaus. Take the stand."

    He explained, "Per tradition, the best man got the first dance with the bride Freney. After I finished my first dance, the music kept playing, so I danced a second song & then the music kept going some more, so I danced a third song. All of a sudden, the groom Rustom leapt over the table, ran to us and gave the bride an unmerciful kick, right between her legs!

    "The shocked judge said, "By God, that must have hurt!"

    "Hurt?" replied Firdaus, `madarchod he broke three of my fingers!"
  • Will Power

    Morty arrives home from work and as soon as he sets foot in the house, Sadie is on to him, telling him that their friend Marvin has finally quit smoking.

    "Imagine that, Morty," she says, "someone who smoked 3 packs a day for 20 years has stopped smoking all of a sudden. Now that's what I call will power - something that you definitely don't have."

    But Sadie hadn't finished. "And that's not all. I hear that Bernie, that drunken friend of yours, is finally giving up drinking - another example of the kind of will power that you don't have."

    "OK, Sadie," said Morty, "you want to see will power, do you? Well here's will power. I am going to sleep in the spare room from now on. I am going to prove to you that I won't be affected at all by not sleeping with a woman."

    Morty keeps to his word.

    One night, when he had been sleeping alone for a week, there is a knock on his bedroom door.

    Morty shouts out, "What do you want?"

    Sadie replies, "Marvin has started smoking again."
  • Stop Masturbating, You're Married Now

    After many years of bachelorhood, this older gent finds and marries a beautiful young lady. On their honeymoon night she slips into a sheer negligee and a comfortable bed as he goes into the bathroom to prepare himself for glory.

    Five minutes go by. Ten minutes go by. Concerned, the bride goes into the bathroom, where she finds her aged husband furiously masturbating.

    She smiles and says, "You're married now. You don't have to do that anymore."

    Her husband looks at her a bit bewildered and says, "Oh, I forgot."