|There men who died the same day were presented before God. The almighty showed particular interest in their sex life. The first one replied that he never had an affair before or after he was married. God granted him a chauffeur-driven Cadillac. The second man admitted he had some affairs before he was married but none afterwards. God gave him an Ambassador car. The third man confessed to having had lots of affairs. God gave him a scooter. A few days later the man with the scooter saw the fellow with the chauffeur-driven Cadillac sitting by the roadside and crying. The scooterist asked him why was he upset.|
Replied the Cadillac owner, "I`ve just seen my wife ride past on a bicycle."
|A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.|
After consulting the Bible, the priest says, " My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."
The man thinks: " What does a priest know about sex?"
So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge.
The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play."
The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The Rabbi softly speaks, "My son, if sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."
|A Minister, a Priest and a Rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.|
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom."
As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the ladies left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates.
The rabbi replied, "I don t know about you, but in my congregation, it`s my face they would recognize."
|cas full fledged nuns, there is one final procedure to be done- the cleansing confession."|
The father asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?"
"Yes, I have. My finger brushed against it," replied the first nun.
"My child, you must dip your hand in the holy water, so that you are cleansed."
So the first nun complies by putting her finger in the water.
The same question was posed to the second nun. Her reply was, "Yes father. I masturbated a man once."
The second nun was instructed to dip her hand into the water, and she complied.
Shortly before the third nun was approached by the father, the fourth nun pushed her aside and said, "IF YOU THINK THAT I AM GOING TO GARGLE WITH THAT WATER AFTER SHE SITS IN IT, YOU VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!"