• Secret Agent

    A foreign diplomat was sitting beside a very beautiful blonde who possessed all the social graces.

    During the course of the dinner, he put his hand under the table and started to feel her ankle. She gave him a brilliant smile. Encouraged, he went a little further and reached the calf of her leg with the same results. The lady smiled and he, becoming emboldened with this encouragement, went above the knees.

    Very soon, giving the diplomat a lovely smile she leaned and whispered in his ear, "When you get far enough to discover that I'm a man, don't change the expression on your face-I'm Secret Agent No. 13."
  • Bone Loss!!!

    Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She had a tummy tuck, breast and butt implants, botox, collagen... the works. Ten weeks and thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman -- literally.

    Her personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new "body work." When the exam was finished, he called her in.

    "Bambi, your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that often affects women your age: osteoporosis."

    Bambi looked puzzled, "Osteo--what?"

    "Bone loss. Many women start to experience it in their 40s."

    Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones quite often!"
  • It's Too Late...

    The four newlyweds spent their honeymoon at Niagara Falls. They occupied adjoining rooms, sat at the same table, and were inseparable.

    One evening after dinner as they were returning to their rooms, there was lightning and the lights went off. It was pitch dark, and groping their way they made it to their rooms, and quietly undressed.

    Jack a religious fellow knelt to pray. Just as he completed his prayer, the lights came on that he saw that he was with his friend's wife. He jumped up and dashed for the door.

    "Too late to hurry now," said the girl, "Joe never prays!"
  • Can White Parents Have a Black Baby?

    Sandy and John were an extremely liberal, though not especially bright, white couple.

    Wanting to begin a family, they decided they wanted to have a black baby, and set to work.

    Nine months later, the fruits of their labor was born: a lovely white girl.

    Pleased but disappointed, John decided to ask a black man at work why they hadn't parented a black baby.

    Realizing that John was somewhat sluggish, the fellow took him aside and asked, "Is your wanker at least a foot long?"

    John had to admit that it was not. "And is it at least four inches wide?"

    Once more John replied in the negative. "Well, man, there's your problem!" the guy slapped him on the back.

    "You let in too much light!"