• Lie Clocks

    A woman dies. In heaven she sees a large Wall full of Clocks.

    She asks angel: What are these for?

    Angel answers: These are Lie Clocks, every person has a lie clock! Whenever you lie on earth, clock moves.

    The woman points towards a clock and asks: Whose clock is this?

    Angel says: It's Yudhishtir's clock. It never moved, showing that he never told lie.

    The woman asks: Where are the clocks of Married men?

    The angel replies: Those are in our office, We use them as 'OFFICE FANS'

    She then asked, what about the Married women?

    The angel replied: Those are kept out... they are 'Generating electricity'!!!
  • Logical and Critical Thinking

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

    "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

    A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?"
  • Disturbance in Barroom

    A police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance.

    The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the officer and the "Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World."

    Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist too, probably better than Houdini."

    The giant nodded.

    "If I had some chains," the officer continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"

    Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.

    "I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

    "Are you sure?" the officer asked.

    The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."
    "In that case," said the officer, "you're under arrest."
  • Got to be careful while paying by credit card!!!!

    Yesterday I got my permit to carry a concealed weapon.

    So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a handgun for home/personal protection.

    When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

    Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun control wackos running amok... I did just as she had instructed.

    When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided... I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader..!!!

    As a senior citizen... I do not get flustered often... but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on!!!

    I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear. And I just need to wear underwear more often.