• Never assume again.....

    There`s this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.

    The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I`ll buy you another drink. I just can`t see a man crying."
  • Good Morning!

    The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.
    "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o clock in the morning?"
    "There is," he replied, "Breakfast."
  • Tight shoes

    A man was seen walking in a drunkard manner, with anger written large on his face, wearing a pair of somewhat tight shoes. A Haryanavi passerby who happened to go that way, stopped and asked the man, "From where did you buy such tight shoes?"
    "Aey Mister, you had better mind your own business. I ve plucked them from a tree! But I wonder what`s that to do with you."
    "Absolutely nothing. But friend, you made some haste. If you had plucked them two or three months hence they would have definitely fitted your feet well," said the Haryanavi mockingly.
  • A drunk`s logic!

    A drunk, after having had one too many, called up the bartender and asked him the distance between Dalhousie Square and Ballygunge in Calcutta.
    The bartender in all honesty answered, "Why Sir, it is 15 kilometers."
    The drunk then asked him the distance between Ballygunge and Dalhousie Square, which again the bartender answered as 15 kilometers.
    Whereupon the drunk accused the bartender of being heavy on the booze, asking how his answers could be correct as Monday to Friday and Friday to Monday could not be the same distance.