• Car Accident

    Jim was annoyed when his blonde wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn't gotten the license number.

    "What kind of car was he driving?" he asked.

    "I don't know," she said. "I never can tell one car from another."

    At that, Jim decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make.

    It worked. About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face. "Darling," she said. "I hit a Subaru!"
  • A Blonde Nun

    A blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her, "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love and your prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to commend you and to grant you anything you wish."

    "Oh, Father, I am perfectly happy. I do what I love. The Church supports me. I am content. I need nothing."

    "There must be something you would like," said God.

    Well, there is one thing."

    "Name it," said God. She frowned.

    "It's those blonde jokes. They're so demeaning, not just to me but to blondes everywhere.

    Can you stop them?"

    "Consider it done," said God.

    "Blonde jokes are hereby stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But isn't there something I could do just for you?"

    "Well, there's one thing. But it's really small and not worth Your time," she said.

    "Tell me, please!" said God.

    "It's the M&M's," she said. "They're so hard to peel!"
  • Blonde Witness

    A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

    "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"

    "Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question."

    "I object!" the defense said again.
    "No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."
    The judge ruled, "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."
    So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?"
    The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know!"
  • On The Other Side

    It was very crowded and noise in this Restaurant and this blond girl asks the waiter where the restroom was.

    He says, "I can't hear you!"

    So she gets close to his ear and asks again, "Can you please tell me where the ladies room is?"

    And he replies, "On the other side!"

    So she turns around and gets close to his other ear, and asks, "Can you please tell me where the ladies room is, please!"