• A Blonde Nun

    A blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her, "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love and your prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to commend you and to grant you anything you wish."

    "Oh, Father, I am perfectly happy. I do what I love. The Church supports me. I am content. I need nothing."

    "There must be something you would like," said God.

    Well, there is one thing."

    "Name it," said God. She frowned.

    "It's those blonde jokes. They're so demeaning, not just to me but to blondes everywhere.

    Can you stop them?"

    "Consider it done," said God.

    "Blonde jokes are hereby stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But isn't there something I could do just for you?"

    "Well, there's one thing. But it's really small and not worth Your time," she said.

    "Tell me, please!" said God.

    "It's the M&M's," she said. "They're so hard to peel!"
  • Blonde Witness

    A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

    "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"

    "Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question."

    "I object!" the defense said again.
    "No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."
    The judge ruled, "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."
    So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?"
    The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know!"
  • On The Other Side

    It was very crowded and noise in this Restaurant and this blond girl asks the waiter where the restroom was.

    He says, "I can't hear you!"

    So she gets close to his ear and asks again, "Can you please tell me where the ladies room is?"

    And he replies, "On the other side!"

    So she turns around and gets close to his other ear, and asks, "Can you please tell me where the ladies room is, please!"
  • Watch Dogs

    A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says, "Oh my, you have such beautiful dogs. What are their names?"

    The blonde replies, "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."

    The man responds, "Huh, that's interesting. Why did you name them such names?"

    The blonde sighs and shakes her head, "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else would you name your watch dogs?"