• Loyal soldiers!

    A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier.
    A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head and asked him what had happened.
    "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash!'
    He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash too!' We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
  • Bad horse

    The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke Of Edenbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse.
    After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!"
    So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to admire the horse.
    At one point the Queen walked around the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling belch, with a smell that....
    The Queen turned a bit red and said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!"
    "Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had thought it was the horse!"
  • Not sticking!!!

    George W Bush wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality.
    The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamps were not sticking properly, and become furious.
    He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter.
    The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Bush.
    He said, "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"
  • A Deadly Sneeze?

    A Deadly Sneeze?
    Adolf Hitler was conducting a General Staff meeting, when somebody sneezed.
    "Who was that!?" shouted Hitler, whirling around from a wall map of Europe. Nobody said anything.
    "I see," he said, "I will have 10 of you shot. And maybe then you will tell me who sneezed?"
    A Gestapo agent took 10 people out of the room. Shots were heard, then silence.
    "I will ask again," yelled Hitler, "who sneezed?" Again, nobody said anything.
    "Very vell," he said, "I will have another 10 of you shot!"
    The Gestapo agent escorted 10 more people out of the room and executed them.
    "For the very last time," screamed Hitler, "Who sneezed?"
    Finally the guilty officer could stand no more. He stood up and said, "It was me, my F├╝hrer. I am the one who sneezed."
    Hitler slowly approached the shaking officer and said, "Bless you."