• Word of the Day

    A little girl in first grade was doing very well especially in spelling. One day she came home with new words to study for an upcoming test and she asked her mother to help. They came to the word "knit" and her mother asked her to spell it.

    She said, "N-i-t."

    Her mother said, "No, try again."

    She said, very slowly, "N-i-t."

    Her mother said, "Now, honey, I know you know how to spell this word, try again."

    Very aggravated and very slowly, as if her mother was just not getting the whole picture, she spelled, "N-I-T!"

    Finally, her mother told her that the correct spelling was k-n-i-t. The little girl looked at her mother, put her hands on her hips and said, "THE 'K' IS SILENT!"
  • Proud Of Daddy

    Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

    The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50."

    The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100."

    The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
  • Not Very Pretty

    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed. The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait.

    The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck-toothed and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her.

    Finally, one of them muttered to the other, "Not very p-r-e-t-t-y, I fear," carefully spelling the key word.

    Whereupon the child piped up, "But awfully s-m-a-r-t!"
  • Helping Hand

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

    "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

    A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?"