• Proud Of Daddy

    Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

    The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50."

    The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100."

    The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
  • Not Very Pretty

    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed. The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait.

    The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck-toothed and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her.

    Finally, one of them muttered to the other, "Not very p-r-e-t-t-y, I fear," carefully spelling the key word.

    Whereupon the child piped up, "But awfully s-m-a-r-t!"
  • Helping Hand

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

    "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

    A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?"
  • How To Fly Like Superman

    Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman.

    "Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms really really hard."

    So Mickey climbed up on the window sill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground just a few inches below.

    Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, "What the heck happened?!?"

    Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him."