• Logical and Critical Thinking

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

    "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

    A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?"
  • Not Easy To Be A Teacher

    Teacher: Construct a sentence using the word sugar.
    Pupil: I drank tea this morning.
    Teacher: Where is the word sugar.
    Pupil: It is already in the tea...!!!

    TEACHER: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.
    TEACHER: Class, what is photosynthesis?
    Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.

    TEACHER: John is climbing a tree to pick some mangoes. (Begin the sentence with Mangoes)

    Student: Mangoes, John is coming to pick you...

    TEACHER: What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
    Student: We don't call them, they come on their own...

    TEACHER: Name the nation, people hate most.
    Student: Exami-nation...

    TEACHER: How can we keep our school clean?
    Student: By staying at home...

    TEACHER: One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
    Student: Future impossible tense...
  • Who's Stupid?

    A young boy enters the barber shop and Bill Soprovitch the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

    The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

    The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber.

    "That kid never learns!"

    Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

    "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

    The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!!!!"
  • Explaining Poo

    A little boy asks his dad, "Where does poo come from?"

    His father is taken aback by the question but decides to give his son the facts straight up.

    "Well son," he says, "food passes down the esophagus by peristalsis. It enters the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal. This contracts the protein before waste enters the colon. Water is absorbed, whereupon it enters the rectum finally to emerge as poo."

    "Wow," says the boy. "So where does Tigger come from?"