• Little Rabbits

    A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

    As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

    She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."
  • Winnie The Pooh

    Winnie The Pooh
    A little girl walks in to the living room one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper.

    "Where does poo come from?" she asks.

    The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says, "Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

    "Yes," answers the girl.

    "Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our butts when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

    The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds before asking:
    "And Tigger?"
  • The Wounded Scout

    A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems.

    A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units.

    One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours.

    When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was supposed to be, they found nothing but a brief note:
    "Have bled to death and gone home."
  • The Dumbest Kid

    A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

    The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

    The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

    "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

    Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

    "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

    The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over !"